MFS: PART ONE

Chibs’s Backstory

How my experiences in life have helped me create the tools I use today to help strivers just like you.

My father died when I was three months old, and my mother was left alone to raise me in a tough part of London. Living in poverty, I was driven to earn my own money at an early age. I got my first job delivering newspapers at 9 years old, and I hustled (legitimately and illegitimately) throughout my teens. At 21, I received a degree in Economics and Politics from the University of Leeds, and after a decade of corporate hustle in recruitment and HR, poor mental health and a lack of purpose led me to pursue a new path. After receiving my master's in Organisational Psychology, I went to Australia on a holiday working visa. 

Once in Sydney, I got tempted once again by the hustle. The lure of money led me to embark on a successful entrepreneurial journey. Despite external markers of success, including a luxury lifestyle in Sydney and thriving businesses, I found myself battling with anxiety, addictions and chronic stress. By 2016 I found myself navigating a tremendously challenging time in business as I battled chronic burnout, depression and suicidal ideation. I was destroying my body and mind, so I had no choice but to give up working to focus on rehabilitation. My recovery journey led me to mindfulness, which resonated powerfully with me. The practices were not magical or mystical; they were functional and practical and fitted in perfectly with my ambitious, success-oriented personality.

Today, I draw on my personal experiences and professional expertise to help others reduce stress, improve mental health and make wiser choices, using various tools, including mindfulness, mindset techniques, breathing exercises, and productivity strategies. As well as helping my clients discover (or rediscover) their purpose, my coaching focuses on fostering quality relaxation, sleep, exercise, nutrition, and connection.

MFS: PART three

The MFS Containers

Underpinning the MFS framework are three 'containers' that help manage and direct the striver's internal fire: Purpose, Attitude, and Effort.

Every striver is ignited by a passionate flame, a force that drives innovation, creativity, and action. This internal fire, when harnessed correctly, becomes the birthplace of groundbreaking ideas, transformative frameworks, and innovative products. However, without the right containment, it can lead to overwhelming anxiety and eventual burnout. The key is to contain and channel this fire, using its energy to propel us forward and turn dreams into reality.

Underpinning the MFS framework are three 'containers' that help manage and direct the striver's internal fire: Purpose, Attitude, and Effort.

Container 1: Clear Purpose (Vision, Goals, your 'Why')

A clear and unwavering purpose is the compass that guides every striver. It simplifies decision-making, amplifies optimism, and acts as a shield against potential burnout.

Container 2: Positive Attitude (Mindset and the Nine Pillars of Mindfulness)

Attitude is the wind beneath the wings of a striver. Embracing the nine pillars of mindfulness creates a resilient mindset, a protective barrier against the challenges of burnout. Techniques from Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, coupled with practices of self-compassion and gratitude, further strengthen this mindset.

Container 3: Strategic Effort (discipline, persistence, recovery)

Beyond attitude and purpose lies "Strategic Effort". It's about exerting effort with intention, discipline, and persistence, with adequate recovery time.

Each of the three containers—Purpose, Attitude, and Strategic Effort—while distinct, are deeply connected. Think of it like this: Your "Purpose" gives direction to your actions. When you're clear about your 'Why', it's easier to put in the "Strategic Effort" with intention and discipline. On the other hand, a "Positive Attitude" not only fuels your drive but also reminds you to be kind to yourself, especially during recovery phases. In essence, while each container has its unique role, they all work together, ensuring you harness your inner fire effectively and sustainably.

By understanding these containers, strivers are better equipped to manage their internal fire. However, it's also crucial to recognize the stages of burnout. Recognising the five stages of burnout enables strivers to implement coping strategies and seek help when needed, preventing burnout and boosting resilience.

MFS: PART Four

What is a Striver?

In my experience, a striver thrives on challenge, creativity and excitement, driven by ambition to achieve remarkable things.

Striving could manifest in various arenas: corporate, academic, athletic, or even personal relationships. I primarily work with those in the corporate sphere, but the principles of my framework can be applied universally.

The MFS framework draws inspiration from age-old wisdom. It aims to make these profound teachings relevant, easy to understand and simple to integrate into our hectic, modern lives.

One crucial point to underscore in the MFS framework is that striving for work-life balance may not be the most appropriate goal for the striver. Instead, it promotes the principle of 'flow' and ‘work-life harmony’, where purpose, attitude, and effort intersect harmoniously. Work-life harmony allows us to excel in our chosen pursuits without the constant struggle of separating different aspects of our life, reducing the risk of burnout.

The journey of a striver isn't without its hurdles and stresses, but through the MFS framework, we learn to channel our internal fire, the driving force of our ambition, to fuel our creativity and productivity without burning us out. With a clear purpose and a mindful attitude, the striver can harness this internal fire to achieve extraordinary things while protecting their mental and physical health.

We chose this

It’s helpful to remember, as a striver, choosing a life with more stress than the average person is a conscious decision. It's our choice, and we can always choose a less stressful path. Me? I've decided to live between stages one and two of burnout. This is my sweet spot - where I'm on the edge of my limits, doing great things, harbouring grand aspirations, and changing the world.

I use my tools and techniques to navigate between the ‘honeymoon phase’ and ‘onset of stress’ stages. Ideally, I'd like to live in the honeymoon phase forever, but to stretch myself to my limits, I occasionally push a little too hard, leading to stress. When I detect the ‘onset of stress’, I utilise my tools of awareness and mindfulness to revert to stage one or the even more serene ‘Stage Zero’ of burnout.

The 'Mindfulness for Strivers' framework is about helping ambitious individuals strive for greatness without succumbing to burnout. It's about using our inner fire to fuel our ambitions and achieve our goals while maintaining our mental and physical well-being. We can choose to be strivers and live a life of more stress, but with the right tools, we can also do so healthily, productively, and mindfully.

MFS: PART five

Influences of the Mindfulness for Strivers Framework

Ever heard the saying, "Don't reinvent the wheel?" It perfectly sums up how we approach the timeless issues of the human mind.

Although our world keeps changing, the challenges we face—stress, relationship troubles, worries, fear—have been with us since the dawn of time.

So, instead of starting from scratch, why not lean on the wisdom of those who came before us? That's what the 'Mindfulness for Strivers' (MFS) framework does—it draws from a rich blend of Eastern and Western philosophies and a collection of psychological theories, taking the best ideas from the past and present to help us deal with today's stresses and strains. MFS offers a unique, comprehensive approach to managing stress, preventing burnout, and nurturing personal growth and well-being.

Let's take a quick tour of the key influences that shape the MFS framework:

1. Buddhist Philosophy and Mindfulness: MFS heavily borrows from Buddhist philosophy, especially mindfulness practices. Central tenets of Buddhism, like awareness, acceptance, non-judgment, and living in the present moment, are fundamental to the MFS approach. The 'nine attitudes of mindfulness' are derived from the Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) program, which has its roots in Buddhism.

2. Stoic Philosophy: The MFS focus on attitude, purpose, and effort finds a strong parallel in Stoicism, which values virtue, rational thinking, and self-control to attain peace of mind and fulfilment. Stoics maintain that while external events are beyond our control, we can manage our responses to them.

3. Existentialism and Logotherapy: Viktor Frankl's Logotherapy and existentialist thought greatly inform the MFS's emphasis on finding purpose. Frankl, a Holocaust survivor, postulated that an individual’s primary motivation is to find meaning in life. He asserted that life can be imbued with meaning even amidst absurd, painful, and dispiriting circumstances.

4. Positive Psychology: MFS's focus on harnessing strengths, aspirations, and well-being aligns with positive psychology. This branch of psychology champions the cultivation of happiness, strengths, self-esteem, and optimistic thinking rather than merely rectifying what is wrong.

5. Humanistic Psychology: The MFS's holistic approach to well-being emphasises personal growth and belief in human potential aligns with humanistic psychology. The theories of Carl Rogers and Abraham Maslow, both advocates of self-actualisation and the individual's potential for reaching their full capacity are relevant to the MFS framework.

6. Yin and Yang Philosophy from Taoism: The MFS's balance of yang (masculine) and yin (feminine) energies have a Taoist influence. Taoism posits the interdependence and balance of opposing forces through Yin and Yang. These principles describe how seemingly contrary forces may be complementary and interdependent in the natural world.

7. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Though not a philosophy, CBT aligns with the MFS's methods. Developed by Aaron T Beck, CBT proposes that our thoughts, feelings, and behaviours are interconnected. This aligns with the MFS's reframing exercises and focuses on mindset and attitude.

8. Wu-Wei: The Taoist concept of Wu-Wei, translates to "non-doing" or "effortless action" and aligns with the MFS's emphasis on not forcing things but instead allowing them to unfold naturally. This idea is akin to the MFS's promotion of low-effort periods and maintaining a positive attitude, such as patience and letting go. The MFS's principle of "non-striving," one of the nine attitudes of mindfulness, resonates strongly with Wu-Wei.

By blending these different influences, the MFS framework offers a complete toolkit for managing stress, avoiding burnout, and encouraging personal growth and happiness.

MFS: PART six

The Five Stages of Burnout

While many are familiar with the concepts of stress and burnout, the revelation that the first stage of burnout is the "honeymoon phase" often raises eyebrows.

Stage 1: Honeymoon Phase

During this initial stage, individuals experience high job satisfaction, boundless energy, and immense enthusiasm for tasks. They're committed, ready to take on challenges, and often voluntarily extend their working hours. 

This phase is characterised by the belief that one can easily handle stress, often accompanied by increased creativity and productivity.

Symptoms: Job satisfaction, willingness to take on more responsibility, unbridled optimism, commitment to work, the desire to prove oneself, heightened creativity, and productivity levels.

Stage 2: Onset of Stress

At this point, some days are more difficult than others. Individuals start to notice that things aren't always smooth sailing. They may experience occasional stress, fatigue, and anxiety. 

While they might neglect their personal needs, they still remain optimistic, often dismissing these feelings as temporary setbacks.

Symptoms: Inability to focus, irritability, lack of sleep or reduced sleep quality, lower productivity, anxiety, avoidance of decision-making, change in appetite or diet, tiredness, and headaches.

Stage 3: Chronic Stress

Too many days of stress in a row leads to chronic stress and permanent adaptations by your nervous system. This is a pivotal stage where stress becomes more persistent. 

Symptoms intensify, leading to lack of sleep, physical illness, and increased absenteeism. Doubts about competence may creep in, and there's a noticeable decline in social interactions and productivity.

Symptoms: Missed work deadlines or targets, persistent tiredness, physical illness, procrastination, resentfulness, social withdrawal from friends or family, anger or aggressive behaviour, cynical attitude, and increased use of alcohol or drugs or caffeine.

Stage 4: Burnout

Too many days of chronic stress in a row, and that leads to burnout. Here, symptoms become critical. Individuals experience chronic headaches, physical and emotional exhaustion, and a significant drop in work performance. 

Feelings of emptiness, doubt, and cynicism dominate, leading to a detachment from work and social environments.

Symptoms: Feelings of emptiness, obsession over problems at work or in life, a pessimistic outlook on everything, self-doubt, chronic headaches, stomach or bowel problems, desire to isolate oneself, and wanting to be away from work or friends or family.

Stage 5: Habitual Burnout

Too many days of burnout in a row, this leads to habitual burnout. This is the most severe stage, where the symptoms of burnout are so embedded that they become a part of one's daily life. 

It affects both physical and mental health, potentially leading to chronic physical ailments and severe emotional issues.
Symptoms: Chronic sadness, depression, and chronic mental and physical fatigue.

By understanding these stages, individuals can better recognise the signs and take proactive measures to prevent progression to more severe stages. Recognising the symptoms early and seeking help can make a significant difference in one's well-being and overall quality of life.

MFS: PART seven

Stage Zero of Burnout

Stage zero, the “Rest and Recovery” stage, may pose a unique challenge for the striver due to their inherent nature and craving for excitement.

Strivers are ambitious individuals who thrive on challenges, constantly seeking new opportunities for growth and accomplishment. They are driven by a desire to achieve greatness and are often unsatisfied with the status quo.

For the striver, the idea of resting and engaging in activities associated with stage zero, such as boredom, relaxation, and quiet, may seem counterintuitive or even uncomfortable. The striver's natural inclination is to constantly pursue their limits and embrace a fast-paced lifestyle. They find stimulation and motivation in high-pressure situations, deadlines, and ambitious goals.

The concept of resting and recovering may clash with the striver's internal drive, as they fear that stepping back or slowing down could hinder their progress or make them lose their competitive edge. Being unexcitable or embracing stillness may seem contrary to their inherent need for constant stimulation and forward momentum.

However, recognising the significance of stage zero and the value of rest and recovery is crucial for strivers to maintain sustainable success and well-being. Strivers must understand that rest is not a sign of weakness or complacency but an essential component of long-term effectiveness and resilience. By allowing themselves to recharge and rejuvenate, strivers can prevent burnout, replenish their energy reserves, and maintain the enthusiasm and drive that propels them towards their goals.

Strivers can approach stage zero with a growth mindset, viewing rest and recovery as opportunities for personal growth, reflection, and strategising. Embracing quiet moments and activities that promote relaxation enhances their ability to generate innovative ideas, gain clarity, and make better decisions.

Finding a balance between the striver's inherent need for excitement and the essential need for rest and recovery is critical. By integrating intentional periods of rest into their journey, strivers can optimise their performance, sustain their motivation, and ultimately achieve their ambitious goals without succumbing to the harmful effects of burnout.

MFS: PART eight

The Containers

Three Containers to develop your vision, your attitude and where to direct your effort.

Container 1: Clear Purpose (Vision, Goals, your 'Why')

Every striver's journey begins with a spark, an underlying reason that propels them forward. This is their 'Why'. It's the deep-seated purpose that fuels their ambition and gives meaning to their endeavours. Without a clear purpose, one can easily drift aimlessly, becoming susceptible to distractions and burnout.

In the MFS approach, we start by crafting a purpose statement. This isn't just a collection of words but a reflection of one's core values, strengths, passions, and the areas of life they wish to focus on. Through simple yet introspective exercises, we help strivers pinpoint these elements, ensuring their purpose statement is both genuine and powerful.

A clear purpose acts as a compass, guiding strivers through the tumultuous seas of challenges and uncertainties, which is a feature of the world that we find ourselves in with the rise of AI and automation. It simplifies decision-making, providing a clear direction even when faced with complex dilemmas. When the going gets tough, remembering one's 'Why' can reignite passion and determination, acting as a shield against potential burnout.

But a purpose alone isn't enough. It needs to be complemented by a clear vision - a vivid mental image of what success looks like. In MFS, we guide strivers in creating a compelling vision statement that paints a picture of their desired future. This vision acts as a beacon, illuminating the path forward and providing a tangible target to strive for.

Lastly, to bridge the gap between the present and this envisioned future, one needs goals. Not just any goals, but SMART goals - Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. These goals break down the journey into manageable steps, ensuring that every effort is a step in the right direction. Through MFS, we assist strivers in setting these SMART goals, ensuring alignment with their purpose and vision.

In essence, with a clear purpose statement, a vivid vision statement, and SMART goals, the MFS approach ensures that a striver's journey is not just driven by ambition, but also by meaning and direction.

Container 2: Positive Attitude (Mindset and the Nine Pillars of Mindfulness)

In the world of relentless ambition and drive, attitude is the unsung hero. It's the silent force that shapes our reactions, our resilience, and ultimately, our results. While purpose provides direction, it's the attitude that determines the quality of the journey.

A positive attitude isn't just about being optimistic; it's about cultivating a resilient mindset that can weather the storms of doubt, setbacks, and challenges. Especially in our modern era, where the pace of change is accelerated by technological advancements like AI and automation, having a robust mental framework is more crucial than ever.

At the heart of this positive attitude lies the Nine Pillars of Mindfulness. These pillars - non-judging, patience, beginner's mind, trust, non-striving, acceptance, letting go, gratitude, and generosity - form the foundation of a mindset that is both grounded and adaptive. By embracing these principles, strivers learn to navigate the complexities of their inner and outer worlds with grace and agility.

But mindfulness alone isn't the complete answer. The MFS approach recognises the importance of other psychological tools and techniques. Enter Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). By integrating techniques from CBT, strivers are equipped to challenge and reframe negative thought patterns, turning potential obstacles into opportunities for growth.

Furthermore, the practices of self-compassion and gratitude play pivotal roles. 

Self-compassion teaches strivers to treat themselves with the same kindness and understanding as they would a close friend, especially during moments of failure or self-doubt. Gratitude, on the other hand, shifts the focus from what's lacking to what's abundant, fostering a sense of contentment and joy.

In essence, a positive attitude, as defined in the MFS framework, is a holistic blend of mindfulness, cognitive strategies, and heart-centred practices. It's the wind beneath the wings of every striver, ensuring they soar high, not just in their achievements but also in their well-being and inner peace.

Container 3: Strategic Effort

Every dream, no matter how grand, is realised through consistent and deliberate action. But in a world teeming with distractions, challenges, and ever-evolving goals, how does one ensure that their effort is not just hard, but smart? Enter "Strategic Effort".

Strategic Effort is the engine of the MFS framework. It's the force that propels a striver forward, ensuring that every drop of sweat, every late night, and every sacrifice is a step towards the envisioned future. But what sets Strategic Effort apart from mere hard work?

Firstly, it's rooted in intention. Every action, no matter how small, is aligned with the striver's purpose and vision. It's not about being busy; it's about being productive. In the MFS approach, we guide strivers to channel their energies in directions that matter most, ensuring that their efforts yield maximum results.

Discipline is the backbone of Strategic Effort. It's the commitment to show up, day after day, irrespective of mood, challenges, or external circumstances. Discipline ensures consistency, turning sporadic bursts of enthusiasm into sustained momentum.

A cornerstone tool in fostering Strategic Effort is the practice of tackling the most important and impactful task of the day first. It's not always about completing the task but making meaningful progress. By habitually addressing the most crucial task each day, even if it's just a small portion, strivers find that they make significant strides towards their goals in a surprisingly short time.

Yet, effort without recovery is a recipe for burnout. That's why Strategic Effort emphasises the importance of persistence paired with recovery. One of the primary tools we advocate for in the realm of recovery is the practice of taking micro breaks. These are short, regular intervals throughout the day that serve as opportunities to let off steam, check in with oneself, notice stress levels, and adapt and redirect if issues arise. These breaks are essential to regulate our nervous system, balance cortisol levels, and ensure that we're not pushing ourselves to the brink.

In the journey of achieving grand visions, it's easy to get lost in the magnitude of the end goal. However, the path to success is paved with numerous small victories. In the MFS approach, we emphasise the importance of celebrating these small wins. Each milestone, no matter how minor it may seem, is a testament to the striver's dedication, effort, and progress. Recognising and celebrating these moments not only provides a morale boost but also offers a moment of reflection, gratitude, and recalibration. It's a reminder that success isn't just about the destination but also about appreciating the journey.

In a world where the hustle culture often glorifies relentless grind, the MFS approach to Strategic Effort offers a refreshing perspective. It champions the idea that success isn't just about working hard but working smart. It's about understanding when to push, when to pause, and when to pivot. And at the heart of this approach is the art of the gentle hustle. It's a philosophy that doesn't equate success with exhaustion but believes in achieving greatness with grace, balance, and mindfulness.

In essence, Strategic Effort is the bridge between a striver's purpose-driven vision and the tangible results they seek. It's the art and science of turning dreams into reality, not through brute force, but through intelligent, mindful, and sustainable action.

MFS: PART nine

The Nine Attitudes of Mindfulness

Cultivating Balance and Resilience on the Path to Achievement

In the journey towards ambition and achievement, the Mindfulness for Strivers (MFS) framework incorporates the nine core attitudes of mindfulness, as inspired by John Kabat Zinn's MBSR approach. These attitudes, contrasted with their counterparts, serve as guiding principles for those striving for success, enabling them to handle challenges with grace, adaptability, and a rooted sense of purpose.

1. Non-judging (vs. Judging)

Non-judging involves observing thoughts, feelings, and sensations without labelling them as good or bad, right or wrong. It encourages a non-judgmental and accepting attitude towards one's experiences. This attitude helps strivers embrace the challenges and setbacks along their ambitious journey without self-criticism or harsh judgments. 

Judging refers to constant evaluation and categorisation, labelling experiences as positive or negative, desirable or undesirable. Judging oneself or others for perceived failures or shortcomings can lead to self-doubt and hinder progress.

2. Patience (vs. Impatience)

Patience is the ability to allow things to unfold in their own time without trying to force or rush them. It involves being fully present and accepting of the present moment, even if progress seems slow or steady. Strivers can benefit from cultivating patience as they navigate their ambitious pursuits, understanding that long-term success often requires persistence and continuous effort. 

Impatience is restlessness and a constant desire for immediate results. Impatience can lead strivers to overlook the value of the present moment and become frustrated when they don't achieve their goals as quickly as they desire.

3. Beginner's Mind (vs. Closed Mind)

Beginner's Mind refers to approaching each moment with curiosity and openness as if experiencing it for the first time. It involves letting go of preconceived notions and judgments and seeing things with fresh eyes. Maintaining a Beginner's Mind allows strivers to remain open to new possibilities, innovative ideas, and alternative approaches to challenges. 

Closed Mind is characterised by holding fixed beliefs and preconceived notions and resisting new experiences or alternative perspectives. Strivers can hinder their growth and creativity if they become rigid in their thinking and fail to embrace fresh insights.

4. Trust (vs. Distrust)

Trust involves developing faith in oneself and in mindfulness. It is the belief that one has the inner resources and capacity to handle whatever arises in the present moment. Strivers can cultivate trust in themselves and their abilities to navigate the challenges and uncertainties they encounter on their ambitious path. Trusting the process can help them stay resilient and maintain their mental well-being. 

Distrust is characterised by a lack of faith and doubt in one's abilities and the effectiveness of mindfulness. Doubting oneself or the value of mindfulness practices can undermine the striver's confidence and hinder their ability to manage stress effectively.

5. Non-striving (vs. Striving)

Non-striving refers to letting go of the need for things to be different or striving to achieve particular outcomes. It involves being fully present and accepting the present moment without trying to change or fix it. Strivers can benefit from cultivating non-striving by embracing the growth process and focusing on their efforts rather than solely fixating on external achievements. This attitude allows them to find fulfilment and satisfaction in the journey itself.

Striving is a constant need for achievement and success. While ambition can be a motivating force, excessive striving can lead to relentless pressure, burnout, and a diminished sense of well-being.

6. Acceptance (vs. Resistance)

Acceptance involves acknowledging and accepting things as they are without resistance or denial. It means embracing one's thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations without judgement or needing to change them. Strivers can cultivate acceptance by embracing the successes and setbacks they encounter on their ambitious path, acknowledging that challenges are part of the growth process. This attitude allows them to respond with resilience and adaptability. 

Resistance refers to rejecting or denying the reality of one's experiences. Strivers who resist challenges or setbacks may find themselves stuck in unproductive patterns of stress and frustration, hindering their progress.

7. Letting Go/Letting Be (vs. Clinging/Pushing Away)

Letting Go/Letting Be is the practice of releasing attachment to thoughts, emotions, and experiences. It involves allowing them to arise and pass away naturally without trying to control or hold on to them. Strivers can benefit from this attitude by learning to let go of perfectionism, expectations, and the need to control every outcome. They can navigate challenges with greater resilience by embracing a sense of ease and flexibility. 

Clinging/Pushing Away refers to the tendency to tightly grasp or hold on to thoughts, emotions, and experiences or to actively reject or avoid them. Clinging to rigid expectations or pushing away difficulties can impede the striver's ability to adapt and find creative solutions.

8. Gratitude (vs. Disregard)

Gratitude is cultivating a sense of appreciation and thankfulness for the present moment and life's experiences, both big and small. It involves recognising and savouring the positive aspects of one's life and fostering a mindset of abundance. Strivers can benefit from cultivating gratitude by acknowledging their achievements, expressing appreciation for their support system, and finding joy in the journey, not just the outcome. 

Disregard refers to the lack of appreciation or recognition for the positive aspects of life. Strivers who disregard their accomplishments and fail to recognise the blessings in their lives may experience a diminished sense of fulfilment and well-being.

9. Generosity (vs. Self-Centredness)

Generosity involves cultivating a mindset of kindness, compassion, and understanding towards oneself and others. It is about extending acts of kindness, empathy, and goodwill to oneself and those around. Strivers can embody generosity by fostering a supportive and collaborative mindset, recognising the value of teamwork, and celebrating the achievements of others. By balancing self-ambition with a genuine concern for the well-being of others, strivers can create a positive and harmonious work environment. 

Self-Centredness refers to a self-focused and self-centred approach to life. Strivers who prioritise their own needs and interests above others without consideration or empathy may experience strained relationships and a diminished sense of connection and satisfaction.

MFS: PART ten

Other Helpful Attitudes

Expanding the Mindset: Beyond Traditional Mindfulness

While the nine attitudes of mindfulness provide a solid foundation for cultivating balance and resilience, there are other attitudes I've found to be equally valuable. These aren't traditionally associated with mindfulness, but they offer unique insights and tools for strivers navigating the challenges of ambition and achievement.

Courage (vs Fearfulness)

Courage involves facing challenges head-on, even when they seem daunting or overwhelming. It's the inner strength that allows strivers to step out of their comfort zones, take risks, and pursue their ambitions despite uncertainties. For strivers, courage is the driving force behind innovation, creativity, and breaking new ground.

Fearfulness is characterised by hesitation, avoidance, and apprehension. It can hold strivers back from realising their full potential and embracing new opportunities.

Self-compassion (vs. Self-Criticism)

Self-compassion is about treating oneself with the same kindness and understanding as one would treat a dear friend. It involves recognizing one's worth, forgiving oneself for mistakes, and understanding that imperfection is part of the human experience. For strivers, self-compassion can be a protective factor against burnout, providing a buffer against the pressures of high achievement. 

Self-criticism involves harsh judgments and negative self-talk, which can erode self-esteem and hinder progress.

Kindness (vs. Cruelty)

Kindness is the genuine desire to support, help, and bring joy to oneself and others. It's about extending warmth, understanding, and compassion without expecting anything in return. This attitude allows strivers to foster positive relationships, build trust, and create a nurturing environment where everyone feels valued and supported. 

Cruelty is characterised by a deliberate intent to cause harm, pain, or suffering, whether physically, emotionally, or mentally. A cruel act or behaviour stems from a lack of empathy and disregard for the well-being of others. Strivers who act with cruelty risk alienating themselves, damaging relationships, and creating a hostile environment.

Playfulness (vs. Over-Seriousness)

Playfulness is about embracing life with a light-hearted spirit, finding joy in the moment, and not taking things too seriously. It's about seeing challenges as opportunities for growth and creativity, and treating life as an exciting game. This attitude allows strivers to navigate their ambitious paths with a sense of fun, reducing stress and enhancing creativity. 

Over-seriousness is characterised by an intense focus on matters, often to the point of forgetting to enjoy the journey. It can lead to unnecessary stress, burnout, and a lack of creativity. Strivers who are overly serious may miss out on the joys of the present moment and the potential for spontaneous innovation.

Absurdity (vs. Earnestness)

Absurdity is the recognition of the inherent silliness and unpredictability of life. It's about embracing the notion that while we might seek meaning and purpose, there are elements of life that are inherently chaotic, unpredictable, and even nonsensical. This attitude allows strivers to approach challenges with a light-hearted perspective, understanding that not everything is a matter of life or death, and sometimes, it's okay to laugh at the randomness of it all. 

Earnestness is characterised by a sincere and serious state of mind, where one is genuine in their intentions and free from any irony or cynicism. An earnest person approaches situations with a heartfelt and sincere attitude, deeply committed to their beliefs or actions.

Expanding the Mindset: Beyond Traditional Mindfulness

By integrating the nine attitudes of mindfulness with the additional attitudes of courage, self-compassion, kindness, playfulness, and absurdity, we address the unique challenges and needs of high-achieving strivers. This holistic approach fosters work-life harmony, prevents burnout, and promotes a balanced and fulfilling journey towards success.

MFS: PART eleven

Tools for Mindful Striving

Equipping Yourself for the Striver's Journey

To effectively combat stress and burnout, it's essential to return to the basics. The foundation of a well-balanced individual lies in five key areas: quality sleep, nutritious eating, regular movement, meaningful connections, and adequate relaxation or recovery. 

The Mindfulness for Strivers (MFS) framework emphasises consistent focus in these domains, as well as the establishment of both a morning routine to kickstart the day and an evening routine to wind down.

However, setting routines isn’t all we need to do. In the midst of stressful, challenging or overwhelming situations, we require immediate, effective tools. The MFS framework draws upon several tools to address various challenges such as anxiety, negative thoughts, overthinking, procrastination, and even anger.

Choosing Your Toolkit

While there's an abundance of tools available, the goal isn't to master them all, but to select the most effective ones. The approach is simple: experiment with a tool, and if it resonates and proves beneficial, adopt, master, and use it often. If it doesn't align or produce the desired results, discard it. 

The MFS philosophy understands the uniqueness of each individual. A tool that works for one person might not necessarily work for another.

Take the example of controlled breathing, a technique to induce relaxation and alleviate stress. Even within this tool, there are multiple methods like extended exhaling, balanced breathing, or box breathing. Each method will produce varying results for different individuals.

The more resilient we are, the less often we have to resort to our tools. Hence, the MFS framework promotes a daily mental fitness regimen, emphasising the cultivation of awareness and resilience through mindfulness meditation.

Effective Tools for Mindful Striving

While individual responses vary, certain tools have consistently proven effective for the majority. Based on extensive feedback and success stories, the following tools emerge as the most favoured and are likely to find a place in your personalised stress-reduction toolkit:

• Micro-breaks: Short, periodic breaks to refresh and refocus.

• STOP Practice: A mindfulness practice to Stop, Take a breath, Observe, and Proceed.

• Controlled Breathing: Techniques like extended exhaling, balanced breathing, or box breathing.

• Purpose: Reconnecting with one's core values and mission.

• Shutdown Routine: An evening ritual to transition from work to rest.

• Scheduled Worry Time: Allocating specific times to address concerns, preventing them from consuming the day.

• Attitude Adjustment: Shifting perspectives to a more positive or neutral stance.

• Reframing: Altering the interpretation of a situation to view it in a more positive or beneficial light.

• One Thing at a Time: Embracing single-tasking to enhance focus and productivity.

By integrating these tools, and building resilience through mindfulness meditation, strivers can navigate the challenges of ambition with a balanced and mindful approach, ensuring both success and well-being.

MFS: PART twelve

Embracing Mindfulness Meditation within the MFS Framework

Harnessing Awareness to Navigate Stress: The Role of Mindfulness Meditation in the MFS Journey

In our journey through the MFS framework, we've explored the intricate dance of stress and its manifestations in our lives. We've dissected the five stages of burnout, understanding the nuances of each phase. 

Now, as we approach the culmination of this guide, let's delve into a tool that's not just about managing stress but transforming our relationship with it: Mindfulness Meditation.

Why Mindfulness?

You might've heard of the numerous benefits of meditation - from reduced anxiety to improved concentration. But for us, the high-performers, the crux of mindfulness meditation isn't just about these benefits. It's about cultivating a heightened sense of awareness. It's this awareness that acts as our internal alarm system, alerting us when we're veering towards the "onset of stress" - the second stage of burnout.

Mindfulness and the MFS Dance

Think of the MFS framework as a dance, where each stage of burnout is a different step. The "honeymoon phase" is where we're in sync with the rhythm, enjoying every moment. But as life's challenges intensify, or we take on too much, we will stumble into the "onset of stress." This is where mindfulness meditation shines.

By practising mindfulness, we become attuned to our internal signals. Those moments when we feel overwhelmed, when our leg starts tapping incessantly, or when we reach out for that extra cup of coffee - these are not just random occurrences. They're signals, loud and clear, telling us we're entering the realm of stress.

Navigating Back to Stage Zero

The beauty of the MFS framework is its emphasis on not just identifying but also navigating these stages. When we sense the onset of stress, it's a cue. A cue to bring ourselves back to stage zero of burnout, where we can rest, recover, and recuperate. It's in this stage that we recharge, preparing ourselves to re-enter the "honeymoon phase" with renewed vigour.

Mindfulness meditation is our compass in this journey. It doesn't promise a life devoid of stress, but it equips us with the awareness to recognise it and the tools to navigate it. When we find ourselves drifting, it's mindfulness that gently nudges us back, reminding us to take a step back, breathe, and realign.

Integrating Mindfulness and Beyond for Holistic Success

As we wrap up this guide, remember that the MFS framework isn't just a theoretical construct. It's a lived experience, and mindfulness meditation is its heartbeat. It's the tool that empowers us to dance through life's challenges, always aware, always present, and always ready to embrace the next phase with open arms.