Don't Be Too Hard On Yourself... Or Too Soft!
NEWSLETTER
Hey Strivers,
I'm a big believer in "Don't be too hard on yourself."
Since I've started being kind to myself and stopped beating myself up, it's been a game-changer for my mental health.
But there is a flip side that's worth considering.
While being kind to yourself is infinitely better than being hard on yourself if we become too comfortable and avoid challenges, that has the potential to stop our growth and progress.
Sometimes, I can take it too far and end up being so kind to myself that I allow my unhelpful habits to creep back in. Then, I might find myself stuck in a rut, not living my life to its fullest potential.
Perhaps that's what that "middle way" is that I hear these Buddhists talking about. 🤔
Finding the sweet spot between self-compassion, discomfort, and effort pushes us towards personal growth and fulfilment. If you're anything like me, being "kind to yourself" can sometimes get twisted.
My "kind to myself" often involves quick fixes—what I call "cheap dopamine"— choosing immediate satisfaction over long-term benefits.
Think about the neuroscience behind it.
Each time we settle for an easy reward, we're programming our brains to expect and demand it, like a child who receives treats for every little accomplishment and soon expects treats all the time.
Unknowingly, we're programming our brain's reward system. So, the next time you find yourself being kind to yourself, try to avoid the cheap dopamine.
Instead of treating yourself to a late-night show on Netflix, treat yourself to an early night.
Instead of treating yourself to a chocolate bar, treat yourself to a fruit salad.
Instead of treating yourself to a bottle of wine, treat yourself to a massage.
I'm not saying don't indulge; what I am saying is, indulge so that it enhances your joy rather than drowns your sorrows.
Sometimes I feel like I'm writing to myself, and it just so happens that other people are reading it too 🤣😅
Before you leave, check out my latest video where I introduce a powerful and incredibly effective tool to increase your self-compassion. Watch the video below.
Have a wonderful week everyone!
Chibs
